Tippex.

Gets rid of your mistakes on paper. What about the others?

For social errors get Gaffex. Remarks that you know will make you wince, days, or even years after the event, got rid of on the spot by the Gaffex aerosol. You say ’Is that your father?’ and it’s her husband of course. Squirt the 'Gaffex'

‘How old is he, two?’ and the little tot is four and a half. Gaffex the area again and all anybody remembers is a harmless remark about the weather.

Sexex is similar but specialised for the unsatisfactory sexual encounter. It expunges the memory and eliminates the sweating embarrassment that can so easily bring on an action (or lack-of-action) mental replay.

Jokex is very useful and deservedly popular. It is best really never to tell jokes but we can’t help it. We know, when it’s too late, that they have heard it before, or worse, they told it to you in the first place. Jokex replaces the joke with a compliment about their jacket. Punnex comes in a small pocket applicator for more frequent use .

Snotex and Fartex are not yet available over the counter.